Cherries On Top

So here, in no particular order, are the reasons I like living in our quiet Yorkshire town:

1. 1.  Top-notch fish and chips. And mushy peas. The default fish is haddock (rather than cod, as in the south). When you reach the front of the queue, instead of reciting your order in full you just say one word -”once” - in as grunty a tone as possible. They say, “mushy peas with that?” and you nod. A bag containing all the aforementioned meal components is then pressed into your hand. This appeals to my minimalist inclinations, as well as my tastebuds.
2. Red telephone boxes.  
3. Friendly neighbours. The lady on one side of us gives me plants for the garden and women’s magazines. The other week, the man on t’other side took pity on my cack-handed attempts to trim the hedge without severing my arm, and came round and did it for me. I gave him a hanging basket to say thank you - I think this act marked a new milestone in my grown-upness. 
4. Where the town stops, the green and pleasant land begins. Pah! None of your southern suburban sprawl here.  My drive to work and back, a bumpy little commute through the Yorkshire Dales, is straight out of Postman Pat:
5. Lambs gambolling on the hillsides every spring. They do make it hard to concentrate on the road though.
6. A higher class of roadkill. Sorry to be morbid, but when I lived in London the highway detritus was made up of rats, crackheads and beer cans. Here we get bunnies, pheasants and badgers.
7. Dearth of crime. The local newspaper has a weekly court round-up but to be honest, it’s usually scraping the barrel.  Recent highlights have included a domestic argument (bound over to keep the peace) and riding a mini-motorcycle on the road (a fine). When feral youths vandalised a park bench recently, it made the front page. Strangely, many people who live here seem to be convinced that the town is at the centre of some sort of crime epidemic. “Blade Britain” it is not.
8. Grammar schools. I know an exemplary education system when I see one.
9. In London, we couldn’t afford to buy a parking space, let alone a flat. Here we have a three-bedroom house.
10. If anyone tries to knock old buildings down so that they can build new buildings, the town throws a collective hissy fit. The same applies if a pub attempts to raise the price of a pint above  £2.20.

Have I missed anything out?

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